Why? (One Step Closer)

So here I am, one day away from leaving, still trying to justify and convince you that there is some greater meaning to this journey. The past few weeks have been spent memorizing Sranan Tongo, loitering in the big city, spending time with friends in Chico and the bay area, spending time with family, and even meeting with returned Suriname PCVs--Robin and Dan. And mostly, there has been an abundance of pacing and praying. My feelings on leaving are a bit hard to describe since they are so up and down between moments. In one moment, I am excited to be going to Suriname, in the next uncertain about the future, my aspirations, about family, friends, what may happen while I am in Suriname, even about what I do once I get back from Suriname. Even when I am in the good company of friends and family, I already feel faraway from home, as if Suriname has already begun to surround me. It is a strange feeling one can only relate to if they have experienced it before.

And so to answer that impending question, 'what the hell for?'. First, there are choices we make every morning when we wake up and get out of bed. Those choices are simple life decisions based on values to make the most of each day, to expand one's knowledge and to give something back. I believe these values are what tempted me to consider Peace Corps. But what inspired me to make that leap of faith and apply for the Peace Corps were the elements that have surrounded me throughout my life.

The true inspiration for my ambition to even consider the Peace Corps came from the friends I have made throughout my life, as well as my grandfather who served abroad during his youth. Thinking back to St. John's, I remember becoming acquainted with people from all over the map, especially the Philippines. In college, meeting guys like Jimmy and Khalid, or the study abroad in Brighton and all the friends I met across the pond who came from all over the globe, from Europe to Asia to Africa. By joining the Peace Corps, it gives me the chance to better understand the challenges these people have had to go through in their lives--moving to a new country, learning a new culture and language. And finally, Peace Corps gives me the opportunity to apply my skills in a place where I can succeed, where I can take back the knowledge of another people while giving something back to them. I believe this is my purpose as a volunteer and a human being.

And even though I will miss out on a lot over the next 27 months: graduations, Christmas with the family, Thanksgiving Turkey, my brother's band shows, last season of Lost, new Family Guy and Office episodes, Harry Potter movies, Transformers sequel, my San Francisco Giants, two more lackluster Raiders' draft picks, and another highly-anticipated-Will Ferrell-summer-blockbuster, I look forward to the new things, people and places I will discover in Suriname.

To my friends, family and others who come upon this blog, I hope you will enjoy my tales from Suriname. And to anyone else contemplating to take a big step forward in their own life, I leave you with this quote:

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." --Ambrose Redmoon